We all should know that sex plays a very important part in our lives, but we also have to understand that its real function is to procreate. However, it’s the mis-education of sex among Black youth in our community that is creating serious problems: child abuse. It’s a crying shame to have to watch news reports about Black children that have been strangled, burned, starved, trashed, abandoned, beaten, poisoned, and left in cars to suffocate, usually by young parents or family members.
I remember a young Black mother leaving her two children in the car to suffocate while she was getting a new hair weave. Same year, a Black man threw acid in the face of his sleeping three-month-old son. Also, the following year, police were summoned to a house where family members told them that a pet “pit bulldog” had attacked their newborn baby, only 48 hours old, who was left unattended in a room with the vicious hungry animal. The police found the bloody headless body of the baby on the floor of the room, and had to kill the dog to reclaim the baby’s head, which the dog was chewing on!
And in Philly, a Black woman called police after becoming suspicious of a peculiar odor coming from the apartment next door. When the police arrived, they found a baby barely alive lying in a roasting pan in a hot oven. When police asked the mother,” Why would she do such a horrible thing to her own child?” Her reply was “The devil made me do it!”
And the list goes on and on. Real-life horror stories of which there seems to be no immediate remedy as to how to put an end to these human atrocities.
The Department of Welfare and Children’s Services are not helping either. In fact, in most of the child abuse cases handled by these agencies, the abusive parent receives inadequate counseling and/or rehabilitation; saving tax payers money, and the real victim (child) is quickly returned to the same abusive parent, who in most cases continues to abuse and/or kills the child. We cannot expect social service agencies or any institution that doesn’t have our best interest at heart to resolve our problems. We Black folks have to do it.
Unfortunately, there are too many temptations out there that lure our Black youth into the world of sex and perversion. The number one culprit is the television, watched by millions of Black youth, which employs the use of ads to promote the very early interest in sex. It’s the most powerful tool the propagandist has to influence their thinking and behavior. Sponsors pay millions of dollars, the networks get richer and filthier and the government rakes in more money. Sex is a multi-billion dollar industry, and the big time hustlers: Uncle Sam and the networks don’t give a damn who’s child they string out as long as they’re making money.
Young Black men and women get caught up in the “1-800-LOVE LINE” which promotes prostitution, and young girls emulate and idolize some whorish female personalities, unprepared for the consequences that lay ahead.
Planned Parenthood, and birth control clinics signal to our youth that sex outside of marriage is okay as long as they don’t get caught, ( pregnancy, AIDS.) When young women find themselves “In trouble,” they believe that the easiest route is to abort the child. After all, it’s just a fetus not yet fully developed. These clinics remove personal accountability and responsibility from the clients and replace them with coils, jells and methods of sterilization. They offer nothing to our youth, and in particular, the unborn child.
In some areas of the U.S., public schools systems are teaching our young Black boys (9 and 10 year olds), the proper use of condoms. Their argument is that “children are becoming more sexually conscious and active at an earlier age, and therefore, to protect them from the spread of highly infectious diseases, like AIDS; it is better to be safe than sorry.” In the meantime, police in Chicago arrest two 10-year- old boys for gang raping a 7-year- old girl while their friends casually watched and cheered.
No one should be talking to your children about sex but you, the parent, or another concerned responsible family member. Parents played an active role in their child’s birth, and should take an equally active part in their moral training and development. Sex education is clearly not the responsibility of the government.
Teaching our children to abstain from sex before marriage is by far the best solution in avoiding unwanted pregnancies, social diseases and character assassination. However, teaching our children about sex should not begin when they are already engaged in it. The process of educating them should start early and be gradual. Families that show love, genuine concern, and are sensitive to their children, are better able to discuss concerns and feelings they may have and don’t understand. As our children continue to grow and develop, they’re undergoing very confusing periods in their lives. False accusations and unfounded suspicions only block the lines of effective communication further. If our children are uncomfortable or reluctant to talk to us about sex, they may look for answers elsewhere.
Knowing who your children are hanging out with is equally as important in educating them about sex. If we know where our children are going to bed and whom they’re with, it won’t be too difficult to figure out what they’re doing. In other words, get familiar with your child’s friends and associates. If their “homies” are the type that attract trouble, then it may be better to cut the contact altogether. Their peers will probably ridicule them, but they will survive. When people don’t have good sense of values, their direction is usually uncertain as well.
REAL TALK: “ANGRY BLACK MAN”…. TO YOU YOUNG BLACK GIRLS
More than ever, you young impressionable girls must face the inevitability of raising your children alone, especially if you are poor and have no education. Think about this, you will become just another statistic filed away for someone’s research (Black, young, pregnant, unwed and on welfare) if you don’t use proper values! Soap operas, videos, reality shows, BET, and made for television films only glamorize the real world because they’re centered on white values rather than Black values. If you young Black girls want a shot at achieving some of your goals in life, you must begin now by preparing to make certain sacrifices.
Learning self-restraint and moral ethics can be the key to your future and the future of your children too. Chances are that if you are in a “Cycle” of having babies every year or so, opportunities become almost impossible to achieve. Lets face it, there will be no responsible brother waiting for you in the wings now or anytime, if you persist in repeating past mistakes. What you will get, however, will be somebody nobody wants or needs…leftovers.
Parenting is a tremendous responsibility, which requires maturity, patience and love. Two of those won’t be there if you see your child as burdens or free tickets to getting a man. Self –respect, self-love and looking out for your own future is far more important. There is a lot of good and bad in our communities, and having the right set of values, and planning realistic strategies will better prepare you for some of the good life in the near future. Give your life a chance to enjoy what is good out there. Put sex on the backburner until you marry. You’ll never regret it, I’m Phillip Norton and I’m out!!!!!
