EUGENICS????

Eugenics……"the idea that society can be improved by allowing people to become parents only if they are likely to produce healthy and intelligent children." I’ve danced to the Temptations on a semi-nude beach in Italy. I’ve successfully dodged gunfire while hobbled with a badly sprained ankle. I’ve gotten lost in someone’s bed before. (I was drunk and, well, it was a big-ass bed.) I read the 560 page Hannibal in less than 24 hours, and the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare) in no less than 4 days. I even managed to not fuck an AKA. Oops! Basically, I’ve had a pretty fulfilling life so far. Well, at least that’s what I thought until I read about this dude named Asim Taylor. He is a father of four, who owes $97,000 in back child support, and has been ordered to stop screwin. Wow!! I’ll get to the actual meaning of a judge making a ruling on somebody’s sexual activity in a minute. Now, though, I need to take a moment to recognize and acknowledge the fact that nothing I’ve done in my life compares to being able to strip but naked, walk to the full-length mirror behind your bathroom door, stare at your dick, and know that whatever you’re packing is potent enough to make a fucking judge craft a legal precedent because of it. There’s nothing I or anyone else can ever do to top that. No experience measures up, no activity or achievement compares to……….”my dick has a court (cause) docket number.” Penis envy aside, the judge’s decision is something I can reasonably assume we’ve all wished we could do at one time. If you’re one of those Nigga’s who say they’ve never been in Target, or on the train, or on Facebook, or in Detroit, or at a family reunion, and looked at a man or a woman and thought to themselves “Some motherfuckers just shouldn’t be allowed to procreate”!! I don’t believe your ass, but fine. For the rest of us, though, this fantasy takes up a surprising—and disturbing—amount of brain space. I pray that certain people don’t have kids. And, for some of those who do already have kids—and have proven to be as useless as parents as tits on an ant—I pray they don’t have any more. But, my wishes never come true. In fact, the amount of children a person has nowadays seems to be correlated to the amount of times someone looked at them and thought their name should just be “Fuckmeplease Jones.” So, why does the judges’ decision wub me the wong way? Let’s forget about the Pandora’s Box it opens. (For instance, if he knocks a woman up, can she be charged as an accessory to a crime?) Let’s even forget about whether it’s constitutionally relevant or even fucking legal. As much as I’ve wished I could be king for a day and tie the tubes of every hood-rat ahead of me in line at Kroger’s, proudly bringing 18 items to the 10 items or less aisle, the thought of actually possessing the power to do that—just doesn’t seem right. Perhaps it doesn’t seem right because, on a fundamental level, I know that it is. On every practical, logical, and biological level, it makes perfect sense to do what we can to deter “undesirables” from having children. In fact, considering that we’re the only species that not only allows the weakest and dumbest of us to have the most children, but puts valuable resources into saving weak and dumb children instead of allowing them to die off, it’s senseless not to practice eugenics. But, when what is or isn’t undesirable is left up to something as arbitrary as human determination, who’s to say that your name won’t eventually be on that list? Basically, if you start eugenics, where does it stop?

Black Naming Rights

Recently in a conversation with friends, someone mentioned Quvenzhané Wallis, the star of “Beasts of the Southern Wild” and youngest actor ever to be nominated for an Academy Award for Best Actress. Before I could remark about having never heard of the film, or show praise for her high accolades at such a young age, I immediately focused on her name. “Wait, is her name really Quvenzhané?” What the fuck? I googled her to see if this wasn’t some kinda rumor. My follow up response to my search was, “Why the fuck is her mama’s name Qulyndreia?” This certainly wasn’t the first damn time I’ve seen an “ethnically creative” name that caused me to form a serious side eye. I mean, I’m a serious NFL fan – seeing names like D’Brickashaw, Jacquizz, Knowshon, De’Anthony and LaQuinton are common. I have also come to regularly expect texts from my friend Platitarius containing a list of students he works with named LaDravious, Dan’kevien, Markevius, Jonquerrius, Marionique, Jamorrious, and LaPhil. My reaction is always the same: “What is with the flagrant use of apostrophes, La- prefixes, and -ious/eous suffixes?” My friend Platitarius and I have even gone so far as to try to conjugate and combine the most common names into as many remixes as possible just for the hell of it. And then, of course, there are the infamous (and possibly nonexistent) Orangejello, Lemonjello, and Le-a. I think some of these “unique” and “uncommon” names are just too over the top and I don’t like em. But it wasn’t until being introduced to Quvenzhané that I considered my reaction was judgmental. I was so distracted by a name that I failed to acknowledge and credit the person to whom the name belonged. I felt bad about it. Does this make me a namist? Lol!! We all have our prejudices and make assumptions based on inconsequential bullshit knowledge. We might even justify our opinions based on our experiences, especially if the opinions are ruder! We also have our preferences, our likes and dislikes. We’re perfectly entitled to them and don’t have to explain them to anyone. But sometimes the line between preference and prejudice is so thin and we can cross it before we know it. This is where I’m a bit conflicted about my feelings about names – do I harbor some deep rooted prejudice against “Black” names? On the one hand, I just think some names are ugly and silly as hell! A person named DaRealyst? Really!! Kids with names that belong one a bottle… Tequila and Hennessey… and not on a playground? Why? It’s like the parents were having a damn stroke when thinking of a name. Why do Black folks have to stand out with names that make no sense? On the other hand, who the hell cares what I think? Who am I to say someone’s name is acceptable or not? There isn’t some set standard or criterion to measure an appropriate name, other than it just sounds/looks weird to some. But yet I’m guilty of asserting an arbitrary bias on others. People have the right to be as creative as they please, right? Do names have to have a deep meaning or translation to be legitimate? Sure, there are studies to suggest “Black sounding names” are more likely to be passed over in the job market. There’s even a study that correlates unpopular/uncommon names with criminal activity. But so what? Should parents be restricted to certain types of names because of possible discrimination (discrimination that may come regardless of name)? Should negative perceptions guide one’s decision on what to name their child? How important is the perceptibility of names? Do our names define who we are, where we come from, and where we’re going? Are names more than an ID? Perhaps this is just a Black burden. White people don’t have to answer these questions or have to defend their names. They can have seemingly unorthodox names without suffering consequences more severe than others. But Black folks know different. Our differently composed names can warrant much harsher scrutiny – even from our own – that goes beyond aesthetics. Assumptions of class, education, and potential for success are often made. I don’t think I’m wrong to find Quvenzhané, LaDravious and any name with a stupid ass apostrophe to be unappealing, just as I don’t think it’s wrong to find people’s art, fashion sense, or faces unappealing. I don’t like what I don’t like. But I do worry that my dislike of these names are just a symptom of a larger problem. I worry that my preference for more subtle names is really a prejudice, and I’m subconsciously reducing people’s worth based on their name. I don’t mull over what kind of person I think they are or where they come from (her name is Twerkeisha so she must be a low budget stripper or have parents only 13yrs older than her), but I’m worried I might actually be doing something worse – dismissing them all together without bothering to scratch the surface. And being that judgmental makes me uncomfortable. I’m out!

Hypocritical Al Sharpton……

A funny thing has happened with this gun control debate that I didn’t see coming; but, to tell you the truth, I shoulda seen it coming before now, after all the talk about keeping guns outta the hands of the “bad guys.” I’d be a liar if I didn’t admit that I always thought that translated to keeping guns out of the hands of Black folks. Of course this sounds crazy, but I’ll get to that in a minute — yea, do hold that thought, will ya? As if the gun control debate couldn’t have gotten any more ridiculous beyond the suggestion of giving the teachers guns? It has now taken a racialized turn. What’s bad is that this racial slant is now being used on both sides. As I mentioned in an earlier post, the Ann Coulter remark in an interview with racist Sean Hannity, that America’s gun violence problem is more of a problem of Niggers with guns, rather than the notion of it being too many guns in the country. As you can see, she sure wasn’t referring to America’s white population as being the problem. Instead, as pretty much all racists do, they blame every problem in the country on us Black folks, and the evil white liberals who enable us. So with that in mind, you could imagine my astonishment to find out that right-wing pro-gun enthusiasts have launched a “What Would Django Do?” campaign, to counter the advocates for tougher gun laws in the United States. Damn!! Yea, the same fuckin people who are not-so-friendly to us, the descendants of slaves who overwhelmingly voted for President Barack Obama, are now using a movie about a Negro slave with a gun to advance their cause for freedom, as given by the second amendment —yea this really is happening folks!! As absurd as it sounds, you must admit it’s a lot better than the racist Republicans gettin together and hosting a meeting on minority outreach at a former plantation. After all, us Black folks are into that whole idea of having a gun or two or three if the rednecks get the idea to bring back slavery. But nonetheless, there’s a bit of irony that borders on hypocrisy coming from this move. Why? Well for one it’s silly, because back in the day, states did all they could to ensure that African slaves were not armed. Secondly, with recent attempts to infringe upon the right to vote by Black folks with the introduction of Voter ID laws, none of these nutty motherfuckers stood with us Black folks to fight. Yeah, in November, voting was reduced to a privilege, but today, the second amendment is sacrosanct, untouchable, and should not be regulated — yep, equal protection, right? This now brings me to our beloved champion of freedom, justice, and equality…Rev. Al Sharpton! Did you happen to catch Al and Marc Morial at the National Urban League’s press conference on gun control? Don’t worry, if you haven’t, you can look it up on YouTube. But at any rate, it seems that certain Black folk have stepped up to the plate to counter the gun-toting crazies on the right-wing. And of course, the White House’s favorite lap dog mouthpiece when communicating to the Black community was front and center, much to the delight of his handlers at 1600 Pennsylvania Av. Okay, so what’s wrong about what Sharpton said? Well, how about me starting with the obvious hypocrisy of him stating that “People do not have the right to unregulated rights in this country.” Now this is some really funny shit to me. It’s because this is coming from the same man who fought against recent attempts to infringe upon the right to vote by implementing Voter ID laws. Aside from me mentioning this earlier in the post, do you remember that? Yeah, just like we all argued, voting or the right to vote is the most fundamental right protected by the Constitution. I’ve said it, Attorney General Eric Holder has said it, and even Rev. Al Sharpton has said it as well. So, why the sudden flip-flop? I mean, if no Constitutional right is exempt from regulation as Sharpton said, why then did he fight to protect the attempted disenfranchisement of potential voters in the last election cycle? What’s even funnier is how he used the same argument about flying and airports posted by proponents of Voter ID. Maybe I’m wrong, but I remember people like Sharpton arguing the point that entering an airport is not a right, but instead a privilege. See what I’m saying? Hypocritical!! So why would Sharpton make what is possibly the most flagrant statement of his career? Short answer: it’s because the president is Black…In other words, having received a seat at the table otherwise seen as access to the White House. Sharpton, taking up this cause as Obama’s number one ally in the Black community — a community which has seen more than its fair share of gun violence — gives Obama an easy out on addressing gun violence in Black communities. Why? Because if the face of the gun violence victims continues to be twenty elementary school children from Newtown, Ct. as opposed to Black folks, Obama is guaranteed continued majority support for new gun control legislation. The real tragedy here, however, is that much of the proposed legislation will do very little to address the problem of gun violence in cities like Chicago. Why? Because tougher gun laws don’t create jobs or improve the economic opportunities of residents of these communities. And this is particularly sad, when you think about how Black folks are being pimped by both sides in the gun control debate, but hey, don’t tell that to Al Sharpton or the gun nuts that I said so, Okay? Here’s to hoping that Voter ID thing never comes up again…

CALL UP THE DAMN MILITIA

At least a portion of the national screaming match about guns has turned to action taken by the President. But there is one lil suggestion I have…... Call up one of those right-wing militias. Call em up!! Guess who is the commander-in-chief of the militia the racist right-wingers reference in the part of the Second Amendment that no one seems to know about? That’d be the President of the United States, according to Article II. Hum? So I think brother Barack, him being the commander-in-chief, should activate the militia. Clearly, “security of a free State” is at stake if we ordinary citizens are not safe to go to schools, shopping malls, movie theaters, public appearances of our elected representative, and I almost forgot…Unitarian churches. So, I think brother Barack should call up the militia. Any white person who owns a gun is ordered to report Friday with their weapons for militia training and assignment. They will be evaluated as to their fitness for duty — including a mental health screening — as well as the condition of their guns and their skill in handling them. They will be furnished with proof that they reported for and completed this training. Thereafter, any white gun owner who cannot furnish such proof will be subject to penalties, and still be required to report for militia duty. Hum again? It’s simple. It’s in the Constitution. And dammit, it’s 100% unworkable. For starters, I think we know the folks hollerin the loudest about the Second Amendment would never surrender to this sort of “tyranny.” (For 99% of em, the definition of “tyranny” is having to do anything a Black person says.) It would cost a lot of money and time, both for organization and enforcement. Military resources would almost certainly have to be diverted to the task. And last, but certainly not least, “the militia” was redefined in 1903 to mean The National Guard, which brings me to the fun part! Just who do you think would waste no time loudly and repeatedly bringing up that last fact? I’m gonna go with “gun owners” on that one. Maybe even Mr. NRA, Wayne LaPierre his own self. But even if they don’t point to that particular law, one way or another it’s a safe bet that they will make the point that they are not subject to being a militia in the sense that the Founders not only intended, but specified. And once we’ve established that the first clause of the Second Amendment is outdated and irrelevant, maybe — just maybe — we can have a sensible conversation about the whole amendment. (Yeah, I know. But I said “maybe” twice, so cut me some motherfuckin slack...) Sure, it’s kind of an intricate way to make a point, but our racist right-wing Republican friends do that shit all the time — how many votes has the House held to repeal Obamacare? Government-as-performance-art can work for our side too, once in a while... Bye!!

Barack…Michelle… Black Love, And I’m Okay with That

I’m not sure why I’m so cynical about everything. I’m sure if I dug far enough into my own background I’d find out it had something to do with losing a damn teddy bear or my mama not hugging me enough. Either way, I can be extremely cynical. Often times I just claim to be a realist…but maybe I just hate love. Hum? Which is why I was so surprised to find myself cheesing like a rat at watching Barack and Michelle do their first dance at the Commander-In-Chief Ball last night. Oh, and Michelle was killing them with them new bangs and that red dress, but I don’t find her to be the hottest woman on the planet. And half the time I wonder if I see the wrong Michelle Obama with how frequently folks try to say she’s fine. But she’s a beautiful woman who has the adoration and love of her husband. And that’s beautiful. That brings me to my point. I’ve long argued with people when folks fawned all over Barack and Michelle. Because I’m not racist, I’ve also felt that way when folks did the same over Jay-Z and Beyonce. Yuk! I think it’s the natural cynic in me who gets irritated by this savior complex we have in the Black community. Anytime somebody does something even a little bit right – and are famous – we make them the patron saint of that thing they did. Folks get married, and oh fuckin my, are they the perfect couple and role models? Rarely do I see people writing odes to their parents, but the famous folks get all the love. “Erbody need a lil love” I now feel like I’ve begun looking at Barack and Michelle with a comforting vibe. Actually, it’s probably because I know that in 4 years, Barack and Michelle will still matter, but won’t be as prevalent or present. And to some degree that saddens me. These last four years, while not perfect politically for us Black folks, have represented a significant amount of excitement for our people. America feels a little bit different. Not necessarily better, just different. And that had as much to do with Michelle as Barack. See, she’s a Black woman. And she’s comfortable in her skin. She does everything with a certain grace that’s inspiring. I appreciate her just as much as I appreciate Barack for being so in love with one another. I appreciate Barack for staring at her ass to remind us all the he’s becoming a real Nigga. And I love that when they did their first dance that they hit a few moments of groove and swing and showed that they had that Chicago rhythm. I appreciate that. I like seeing them smile at each other and look like they actually like each other. I’m sure they have issues like everybody else, and though he’s the leader of the free world, I don’t doubt for a second that he knows when to defer to his wife just like she lets him be the man. He never forgets to give her the props she deserves. I’m sure he’s a man and does man things that are so common place that they don’t need rehashing here. And I’m sure she has her moments. But so do us all. Earlier today I was thinking about the idea of Black love. It’s just like every other noun with Black in front of it. It symbolizes some strong bond and commonality amongst us all that even it can’t be defined with simple words and phrases; you just know it exists when you see it. It’s palpable. But more importantly, it’s necessary. Seeing Black love is not only necessary for us as a community, it’s important for the world to witness it even if they don’t fully get it. Don’t have to bump it, but please respect it. I’ll skip the statistics about love and how dire it is because I’m not sure the stats tell the story of what I see. Sure I’ll always cringe when folks get too hype about anybody’s love that’s famous, but if Barack and Michelle are the symbol of Black love that I have to fall back on, well, I’m good with that. Because it looks real and it looks beautiful. And it looks like something towards which to aspire in a world where so many images in the world of “reality” skew towards odd visions of love for anybody. Cheers to Barack and Michelle for showing us how to do this son. Or more accurately, just showing us their love and letting us do with it what we might.